I Go Hard

Some mentalities are just fucked up. This whole "I go hard" shit, yeah it's stupid. Go hard for who? The hood don't miss you when you gone. The scream "R. I . P." and move along. They light up the tree and crack the bottle, life goes on. The hood don't love nobody, never did; yet people out here ready to die for theirs. People claim and rep hoods that they do not own. Create gangs that genocide condones.. It's a cycle cause when in Rome do as the Romans do, fall in line. Follow your crew. Most of these "I go hard" people know better, but refuse to do better. They act like it's their only option. If' that's the case they mind as well go fight the war. It's senseless violence and bullshit fueled by politics. At least they'll get paid if they survive the war. This "I go hard" war, no benefits. Cuffs or a casket, the catch 22. The belief in this lifestyle is beyond ignorant. Live for today, do it again if I see tomorrow. They live waiting to see how they'll die. They're all the walking dead. You can tell one, "If you go here, you're going to die tonight." He'll still go, if the crew goes. He might try to back track in the 12th hour; but it'll be too late. It happens. Death, then the hood moves on. No justice will be paid, because this lifestyle breeds a Catch 22. When it's too late, the lifestyle has caught up to you. Somebody's always willing to prove that they go hard. There's always the situation where someone is trying to get their life together or was doing the right thing; but tragedy strikes. The thing what this life, it's not one-hand in, one-hand out. If you gonna do right, do right. This situation is always so sad, but you reap what you sow. Don't mistake working hard with going hard. It's a difference between living life, and living dead. What you living for?

"obligations"

"I like sex, But I don't give head." That's what she told me. Laugh Out Loud, very loud. So we just fucking then, this has no potential for a relationship. In a relationship, plain ole sex is not going to make it. It's your obligation to be your partner's freak, and your partner's freak only. During the same plain things is for one night stands, fuck buddies,etc. There's too much passion, intensity, and urges involved to just have dry sex in a relationship. Be free, be that freak. Keep your partner satisfied. I am "the ultimate pleasure is giving pleasure" kind of guy. That should be mutual. With all the talk that women have about being free and equal; I want mine to be sexually liberated. Don't hold back when given the chance. Relationships function from a mental and physical stance, each aspect assisting the other. If you gonna do it; go hard or move on.

Not Me

After chilling with you, I see I gotta long way to go. I bust my ass on them ice skates, but it was worth it. I finally got to see you smile again. Your way of thinking confuses me though. I did you wrong by all accounts, but for you to be done with men is crazy. You still love me like a brother, and never stopped caring. Yet I am the reason you traded our species in. I pray every dude ain't like me. I ain't the epitome of all men. My actions represent the excuses that most men use; but I was still learning. You've been through more than me, you're older. You're beautiful, but maybe a bit misguided by what I put you through. I can't claim my intentions were good, they were selfish. You say understand me, but you don't completely. If you did, you wouldn't hold the whole species accountable for me. You don't really love women. I saw on your face from our day at The Mall. It culminated when you didn't wanna go home and our day transitioned to the bar. I ain't your man, and won't be. Find one that's good for you though, please?

My Pretty Wings

You're Gone & You ain't never coming back

I keep hope alive, only because my thoughts are twisted

I had to let you go

It wasn't you, it was me

I was a progress stopper in your progression to beauty

I made you ugly, got u outta character

I tested your will day-by-day

I abused you trust, manipulated u when u left

I'm addicted to you, but I just ain't good enough for u

Yeah...You love me to death, But love is not supposed to kill u

You sat back and watched me do dirt like the girl next door

Meanwhile i dragged your heart through broken glass on a floor

Simply put: You deserved more

So I had to leave

It's killing me to watch you spread your pretty wings

Like Father, Like Son

Eyes blood shot red

He can't believe what's being made of his kid

He won't speak on it, it's the elephant in the room

His son roams the street like a thief in the night

He's stealing dreams, fucking bitches daily

Planting & aborting seeds like crazy

Young, wild, & reckless

While the old man can detect this

He neglects this

He used to be this li'l nigga

This li'l nigga has no guidance,

Pops let the streets raise his son

He was there physically, financially

But never tried mentally

Never tried to get to baby boy's head

Now it's too late, baby's boy's dead

These are daddy's thoughts at this casket

Niggas be a father, you killing your son

If the streets crazed you, let you be the only one

Your silence can be just as hurtful as the violence

Don't contribute to genocide

Raise your son, Get rid of the foolish pride

Mission Statement

I live to love. That's my purpose. I live to do things that I love and want to do. I refuse to live for hate, and to make people envy me. That's a fucked up vision. That purpose is always chaotic; never really a moment of peace. I live to laugh, have fun, enjoy myself. Do things that generate good vibes. In some circles that's unpopular, also in some sub-cultures. It's immaturity. It's not possible to find peace or happiness when you try to get to that point by creating hate. It's kind of ridiculous if you think about it. Hate is used more often than love. When love is used, it used in vain. When you truly discover something that you love; nothing compares to it. I want a lifestyle that is fueled by love. Loving everything that I am doing and pursuing. I want that. Love is a state of mind that many people are scared to embody. Something is wrong with someone who just goes around loving everything. It's ok to love, just not so hard. It's ok to abuse love; use it in vain. Musiq described it best when he sang about it, "Love." I live to love.

The Like

Liking someone. The element that's overlooked and overshadowed by love. But nothing is quite like the discovery of liking someone. That initial feeling of tingling uncertainty. Not butterflies, but the newness feeling. Then the process of showing that person you like them. You kind of get out of your element a li'l bit. You read them your qualifications, tell them how good you are. You know? Trying to make a good impression OR you do the nonchalant thing. You play the "I'm Cool" card, or you act as if you got too much going onto be into someone (all while leaving the door open). You try to position this person to like you back. Sometimes you manage to get a couple of dates, see how things go from there. Sometimes that person just isn't into you. If you get that vibe initially, or feel that you like someone you couldn't/shouldn't like; you try to talk yourself out of liking them. This may be because of the perceived notion of that person, their past, your past, fear, things like that. So, you focus on their flaws, try to create distance and force a dislike. The heart produces and reacts to raw emotions. People do not like to refer to their heart in the stage of "like". While "like" may turn into a variety of things; good friends, best friends, close friends, a relationship, etc. It should be acknowledged.

What Do I Do?

Sit down. Listen. You're cool, we're cool. I enjoy the time I spend with you, especially when we're laughing and smiling. Your presence, the newness, it's a breath of fresh air. We do almost everything together. Your laundry full of my clothes, and vice-versa. Everything is cool for the most part. I got a few problems though. When we have sex.............We do not vibe sexually. Sex is not everything, but given out chemistry sex should be naturally fun. When we have sex, I don't feel you. You're kind of loose. No walls. I ain't insecure, and your past is your business. But when I'm in there I can't help but think who else has been there. I wonder what you've been through. Your precious asset has been used and abused. It's hard to say because I'm really feeling you. I just don't know what to do with damaged goods...

Ex-Factor

She has "green eyes",

A woman scorned,

An ex- relationship born

I'm a victim of her past,

Not her new ex, But the latest to get the axe

I was supposed to be a breath of fresh air

But she refused to breathe

She still stuck on dude,

She forced herself to leave

She wanted me to be everything he was supposed to be

Never took me for me,

Just a new & improved version of him

Love is not a competition

It's beauty that gets better with repetition...

Pure Girls

they say white make's the girls pure
so she got the purest form
she snorted
life in shambles over the baby she aborted
she didn't know who the daddy was
see, she lives the lifestyle of the rich & famous
yet she's poor & aimless
her features are what her admirers adore
she's a whore
night after night her drawers can be found on various penthouse floors
the party life, the fast lane
this was her gateway to the cocaine
oh! she this thing for champagne
Moet diets
she sleep from 9-5, drive a broke down 745
she get $500 there, a G there, 2 stacks there
all because she take backshots in the rear
sad story but save your tears
it's her life & she doesn't care
infected with a disease wih a unknown cure,
straighten her lines up, that shit is pure...

I Wanna Be

When I think of you, I think of love in motion
The sight of you brings out the raw emotions of me
My brain gets in a mode of things that I wanna be
I wanna be the butterflies in your stomach when u get nervous so I can calm you
I wanna be your peace @ mind when you get away to get a piece of mind
I wanna be the epitome of an orgasm to you
I wanna make 1+1= 3, 4, & 5 instead of 2
I want my soul to get lost in you
I wanna Be wit U

Smile

Tonight, I payed your favorite song a visit. "These Three Words" by Stevie Wonder. The song embodied your life; or you embodied the song. You Loved our family to death, You put me in my older cousins arms and we bonded from there. Our relationship is still the astonishment of the family. You struggled with those drugs and rarely did I see you smile. BUt when you said " I love you" I always felt that. It was always true. Those three words never failed to come from your aching heart. I love you, I miss you. Smile for me....

Motivation

Read FORBES!

New Age

It's clear o see that technology is taking over everything. As far as entertainment goes, technology is definitely taking over everything. Music has gone digital, Album sales are steadily declining, but great music still exists. Instead of making albums, artists are better off killing the internet and going tour. The album should be the last step of the process. Especially if they're independent. Why go through the process of hustling backwards. You make an album that gonna generate a buzz that numbers don't indicate. Numbers do lie in this day and age, they just aren't accurate. You might move 30,000 units while 2 million got your album. The thing that can not be replaced is live entertainment. Technology can not take over that. Musicians should learn the art of performing and perfect it, then pursue the album. It's alright to have a heavy flow of mixtapes, snippets of entertainment whatever to build their reputation and fan base. It's a new day, we've got to figure out a way to manipulate the system. It only make sense to maximize your profit instead of being in the whole hurting yourself. Take Diddy for example; he has all of these Making of The Band shows or what not. He knows good and well that those artists aren't going to sell records, and he's getting his share for what they owe him for making the album anyways. He also gets money for the shows in which they are the stars. The artists are hustling backwards, dying for a dollar that goes to Diddy's pocket and trying to survive at the same time. Greed becomes an issue because they want what they deserve; they just go about it the wrong way. Diddy deserves credit for putting them together, but damn. Are people just this dumb? Check Diddy's track record with artists. He's a hell of a producer and a smart business man; but come on people. None of those Making the Band groups ever pan out. Diddy hustles those groups and gets rid of them. He knows there are people always waiting for the next opportunity. Same with other executives in the music industry. They survive despite the technology, what about artists?

Social life, live entertainment, and shopping to some extent are some things that have not lost out to technology and will always be around.People still read books fortunately, that's only because that's too much information to read at once on a computer. Films have lost grounds to the internet and technology, but you how about hosting your movies and films in venues before they hit theaters. You'll build a good fanbase, especially if you provide the customers with a unique experience. The theater of entertainment is changing. Business has to change too, we have tio capture the mind of the consumer once more. Sunday Mornings, it's like music to your ears.

PureFuckin

Slick talking Muthafucka he is...
Dream seller
pussy bandit
My man
Beautiful
A christian
saint
good girl
his girl
He met her at his grandma's church gathering
Thought he had one, said he was getting up outta the game
But like with any addiction relapse happens
He thought she was walking the straight and narrow too, but she was blessing her good friend from the pews
See she ran to church cause she was trynna get up outta the game too
he come running to me talkin b'out how he "gon' kill this BITCH"
It shocked me, I asked why he just ain't steal he bitch,
Naw, not really
But I asked him y he was being a hypocrite
He said it's what niggas do, and he thought he knew the bitch
I couldn't help but laugh cause he had a closet freak
Nigga, u really thought you taught her everything she knew?
He say "Man, go 'head son"
He trynna sneak a freak to a freak
Takin her to strip clubs, fuckin in the mirror
And doing everything from Karma sutra to some off the wall shit
He was fascinated from the first time the "church girl" let him hit
Fell in love with a well-experienced clit
Didn't know when he relapsed he did witha firend of hers from waaay back
See in the "game" everybody's fucking the same people...

Beautiful Chaos

She lay in My lap staring in my eyes
As I told her I'm never leaving
I boarded the flight and never looked back
That was until I came back...
He glare told me her pain
But her heart won't let her be mean to me
Somehow she understands me,
Years after the fact we still got the perfect chemistry...
Still her bitterness remains
She ain't much of a fighter but she always let her frustrations out to me in return for tranquility
She accepts my foolishness and lets me be me
Not ones to hold anything back, fighting is the method to our madness,
We do it with good intentions, not to cause harm
That's the nature of our hectic bond,
In a sense I never left
She saved a place for me in her heart
And reserved a spot for her in mine
Beautiful Chaos...

Plain & SImple

I woke up this morning, right?
You were lying beside me
My mind was lying to me,
I miss you....

Like That

No stars no fireworks, we just don't do it like that
We get lost on conversation cause we chill like that
No titles, just us, cause we function like that
Some times no words, just silence, we vibe like that
Crazy pictures on the phones cause we silly like that
She still cool with her ex cause I don't trip like that
Locked in the house on her Bday cause we freaks like that
No clockin', no stalkin' cause she don't get down like that
We say whatever's on our mind cause we keep it real like that
I'll do whatever anytime cause I four-letter word her like that

The Shit

Wow! You're on your shit.....
Heard that 7 times today...
I'm on it...We on it
Hurry home...

Me Talking to Me

What used to be Me vs. Me has turned into Me talking to Me
Mind control...
That li'l voice in my head has turned in to a reflection of my better mentality
Be me, do me, Nobody can be me for me
It feels better being in tune with myself instead of at war
Mental confusion creates a state of chaos
Mental ecstasy is bliss
The mind is powerful, and mine is growing into something great
Instead scheming for nicks and dimes, I'm plotting for a bill
Yes a billionaire, and I got 100s of ways to get there
I now realize that one hustle stops when they give you time
Other ones can last 'til the end of time
I can do anything, It's all in my mind

Title at The Bottom

It's an addiction
It'll have you strung out, but the high is worth it
It's your heart's fascination
It's the tingling sensation in your chest
It's the frustration when it aint around you
It'll have you buckey naked, feeling overdressed
It finds and brings out the best in you
And vice versa
No matter what, it never lets you down
It makes you feel vulnerable and safe at the same time
It's etched in every thought that crosses your mind
It's your refuge
Ole reliable
Your anti-drug
It is "My Love"

Bar Behavior

Soooooo, I like to drink right? Well, me and a couple of friends went out to a bar the other nite. Nice crowd, girl:guy ratio pretty even. Black people bar, so they playing our music. You know how that be in the bar. People two stepping, dancing like go-go dancers and carrying on. Anyways, me and my friends we in there doing what we do. We act a fool and have fun when we drunk, it's our own world. I got oner friend, after a couple of drinks she start flirting with the bartender to get free drinks. My other friend, start molesting the dudes sitting next to her. ( I thought it was supposed to be the other way around.) I got another friend whispering sweet bullshit to the girl next him. My other man keep tapping me, talkin about, " Son, she keeping giving me the eye, they gon' have to ride with you tonite. "
We keep laughing, having fun. Meanwhile, my fried has convinced the bartender to give us a round of drinks. My man still maintains that he is taking this girl home. And my other friend is over in the corner with one of the dudes she was molesting. She bout to sell him a dream, she nothing more than a flirt. A newcomer has joined the group. She standing over my shoulder while my man keeps telling me his status with the girl across the bar. I'm fucking with the female bartenders while holding conversation with the girl over my shoulder. Me and the bartenders laugh at how my friend is about to get their co-worker fired. He kept giving us drinks. They gave me a drink cuz i made them laugh. Girl over my shoulder is intrigued by my sexual presence. Not that I am a sex figure or anything like that, I just seem to get a lil sexual while that Bone VSOP is in my system. I been chasing it with Shy the whole time so I'm gone. She think the scar on neck is a hicky, I told her i don't do those. She insists on trying to suck on my neck anyways. Me being me, I whisper nasty things in her ear, about making her left leg shake etc. She's aroused and so she buys me a drink, I slide it to my friend who's working the bartender. She's playing in my head and I'm fucking with her head. She thinking about the future prospect of giving me head. It's all fun to me. My man finally convinced the girl from across the bar to come over.
I finish my convo with the girl over my shoulder, she left me her #. My friend got the dude in the corner two stepping with her, making a fool of him so we could all laugh. My other friend must have sold the bartender a helluva dream, he's convinced he got one tonight. The lady bartenders behind the bar get the word -for -word story of my visitor. You ain't suppose to kiss and tell; but ain't nothing wrong with "tell to drink" They giving away free drinks. My man wrapped up his convo with the girl from across the bar, they about to go get something to eat. My friend returns from dude in the corner, he leaves with the ad face. No number, no nothing. My friend flirting with the bartender turns to me and ask, "Babe, you ready to go home?" The female bartenders and I look at each other and laugh. Then we pack up and leave. I left the napkin with my visitor's # under my last glass.......

Feelin' It ( Random)

Just starting a new job..Don't really like it, but I need a money resource.

I gotta get a grip of this patience thing or organization. I gotta lot on my plate...

Home is a myriad of things. Not enough words to explain this place. The city's changing, some people are, but deep inside it's still DC. There ain't another place in the world like it. It can be a a gift & a curse being from here. (I will write a book)

I don't sleep much, I get enough to recharge my batteries. I'm about to hit the gym again soon. . Mind, body, & soul all gotta be intact. SM keep ringing through my head, it's stitched on the side of every thought that passes through my brain.

I put my life in perspective a lot. My life ain't half bad, matter of fact it's great. I think I am a very versatile individual, I am content with myself.

My life has been moving so fast recently. My li'l cousin calmed me down. He like to keep shit simple, he think he a li'l man. I ain't realize how fast he's growing up. My parents getting older, grandma too. My sick aunt is doin better. Some people still stuck in difficult places. I had to sit back and analyze that. I walked in the house the other day, and my mother had my old workout shirt on from HS.
My father gotta rack of gray hairs in his beard.

My cosuin lives life through me. I finally talked to him for the first time since i been back from overseas. Calls from Hell is what I call them...

Looked at old football games of me today, from little league through HS. I was a beast on the field. I had a KILLER instinct. Flat out killer, no other way around it. I can see why it became an obsession. This new obsession runs my life though. It's great, so it's not going to ruin my life. People not ready, this thing here (SM) is about to rule their life. SM

Keep A Grasp

A lot of people been letting this recession shatter dreams. Not going for it. The media has been pushing this so hard that it is scaring people. A lot of people simply weren't living within in their means, and it's not everyone's fault. But people are looking for one to blame. Can't change it though, it's done. I can control the message being sent by the media. Our economy ain't pretty at all, but reality is I gotta work harder for what I want. No problem there. Change my goals up though? Naw.

The Worse of the Best ( storytelling)

You're cool but..... We're at different places right now. I ain't looking for love or nothing like that, or a relationship. Sometimes, the idea seems kind of cool, but really? I just ain't ready for it. I like my freedom, my space, the right to move as I please. You haven't done anything wrong, it's me. I don't think I am wrong, and you figure; what's new? But I really am not wrong, I just prefer not to be so close. I don't want to let you down. You wanna be #1, but.....You may be my #1 girl , but it doesn't mean much when you're not much of a priority. You provide a breath of fresh air sometimes, but.....I just think that's cool. You say u feel comfortable and in a safe place with me. That's good, but that kind of makes me feel funny. I can make room for you, but then I'll feel like I am making a mistake. I ain't scared of love, & I think you'll be fun to be in it with. But me? I might not be so fun. I am selfish right now, and you say you understand. Maybe you do, but there is also something called human nature. U ready for that? You deserve better, but who'll give it to you? You want it from me. While I am capable, I ain't ready. When you move on, I'll be jealous. Probably test you, but I got it coming. I got too much going on for us right now. Love is too much of a burden. If this were my perfect world; you'd understand me completely. You'd understand that I want you to trust every and anything I do when you are not around. You wouldn't let the distance bother us when I am away. You would not mind if I ignored a text cause I was busy. Your mind wouldn't wonder because I hang with a lot of females. You would embrace our time together, and love me more when we're apart. And the same goes for me. But it ain't in us. Love brings out the best & worse............I'ma sit love down and manipulate it one day. Bullshit huh?

Welcome Back pt. 2 ( Time to Work)

I ain't been writing...Been thinking, plotting as I would like to say. My life is different now, and more change is coming. I just know I ain't gonna settle for less. I see that too much a home. DC is beautiful too, the good, the bad, the ugly. still the epitome of beauty. I AM BACK, i wrote about it already. I feel like a kid again. Raw, talented, and my mind.....I've been humbled by life. I am fortunate enough to have been around, and kind of have enough knowledge of a wise old man. I am young though. People around me haven't changed much, I think they're scared.I came home to find out that dick, pussy, & sports is just as powerful as the Bible where I am from. It makes some people's world go around, but under it all is wealth. Financially and spiritually. It's easy to be ignorant, stupid to be intelligent. When it's too late it's "I wish I was that smart when I was young." Yeah?
I am not scared to go outside of the box. I'm willing to risk everything for SM right now.
SM
















You gotta let it marinate, cause when it hits it'll be gratifying for me. It'll reflect everything I've been through and everything anyone has been through. It'll reflect a new outlook on life. Sunday Mornings, will be a new lifestyle.

Welcome Back pt. 1

Welcome back America. DC

I AM BACK

I been back for a week. I seen ya'll face at the bar, yeah, I am back. Same but a li'l different. I been so focused on change for a while now. I've been making slow progress. And more and more I've been open about my progress. Accepting change and doing things that put me out of my element. While I was out of my element, I did a lot of thinking. A lot..........I realized while change is good, I miss the old me. The me that was naturally different, original, unique, silly and the same " I don't give a fuck" mentality. The I don't give a fuck stuck with me, but the originality got lost along the way. That's what I miss, I was always a breath of fresh air wherever I went. Somehow I dropped to average, normal, whatever. Being average, or falling into the norm is more peaceful or what have you given my mentality. Fuck it though, I am who I am. I am back, I feel like i am back to my natural state of mind. I am original again. It rubs some people the wrong way, Fuck 'em. Sarcastic comments, flat out jealousy, and so forth; it all means nothing. I've always been called crazy, arrogant and so forth. I'm different & comfortable in my own skin. Asshole? I'll take it. Arrogant? Naw, not really but Mr. Ward? Always. My presence right now intimidates a lot of people. It is what it is, I am back. I couldn't feel no better. I'm making everyday fun, no matter what. It's what i do. I mean society got tired of being original so it reverts back to retro style, and things repeats itself. I gotta blueprint to greatness, I gotta be me to get there.

I owe u this, (no homo) AS U WOULD SAY

Aye, I'm living life over here in europe. It's about to come to an end but I wanna just say thank you. U were the one who said "fuck that shit, do it". I remember you exact words, And they actually stuck. I been hard headed most of my life, why listen to somebody younger than me? U gotta gift though, ur voice ring louder than u think. 'Member those day we was bitter in the car thinkng abut studying abroad? Stress ain't the word,. Well, we both doing it now. We can't have bad days in the office, we don't too well with those...lol. I just wanna say thank you. I'm going hard for what we believe in...

No Title

Hey waz up?
I been reflecting on what me & you been through
A lot right?
I'm forever grateful for you no matter what
Each day our relationship gets stronger...better
Even on the not so good days, we get better
I've recently come to understand your worth, your value
I like where our journey is going
You watch me grow from a boy to a man
I still ain't got all my marbles but you still stand by my side
All the times I been disrespectful, I apologize
I've been reckless at times looking for excitement that you ain't need
Drama and shit like that
Now we gonna have a lot of action, but for good cause
Overall, you gotta be happy with what I am though
Our relationship is one of kind
You are the reason my heart beats,
When you leave, my heart will stop,
You are Life, I love my life

Let's Play (It's a Silly Game)

So...I'm out at dinner with a nice young lady, and we're enjoying each other's conversation. We got certain levels of interest, natural human behavior or what have you. Sex becomes the topic of conversation, she seem kind of sophisticated, but a li'l wild at the same time. At least that's the vibe I'm getting. Food is gone, she's waiting for dessert, and sex is the topic. (I don't have dessert...She's it)
We talk about how people come to engage in sex with their partners and how some girls are freaks and so on and so on. Along the way, I tell her that I am practicing celibacy. A lie but not really. I'm open for the opportunity, I just ain't been pursuing it, but whatever. That's a first move, I'm hoping she try to test me tonight. She proceeds to tell me that's cool and most guys aren't like that. They go straight for the drawers. I know, I am a guy is what I think. We keep talking and she tells me about why she doesn't trust guys and so forth. Then she talks about how it's a double standard about how guys and girls are perceived. That conversation, everybody knows how it goes...
We kept talking but the conversation got away from sex. We get in the car, and she tells me to stop at the liquor store. She goes in and buys Bone VSOP, my favorite. I can tell she been paying attention from our dates. We get to her house and she fixes glasses for us two, then throws in the movie "Love Jones." A classic movie for man/woman relations and complications. My kind of movie, and she knows it. She made a comment about it when she was at my house. We proceed to drink the whole fifth of Bone VSOP. It's kinda warm, so we half undress a little bit. Tipsy, we debate about the movie. Hypotheticals fill the debate; and "what ifs" turn physical. She got me= her mindset. I got her = my mindset. So who won?

Damn (storytelling)

She say she wanna be famous. I think, what about the money? She say she just wanna be a star. She wanna be like Beyonce.
Me: So you do music?
She: "Naw, I sing, dance, and act."
Me: Which one you do best?
She: I'm good at all three, I used to take dance class, sing in the choir & I just know I can act.
Me:That's what's up. That's what you in school for?
She: Naw, I study criminal justice. I wish i could do it though, I know I'm good at it.
Me: Why not do the dancing and singing shit then?
She: I be singing with my friends and stuff & I dance on youtube. I gotta whole rack of hits and comments. All that, people be saying good stuff about me on there.
Me: That's your fame right there, still what you wanna do?
She: That ain't fame, I want the bright lights, concerts, and movies. I wanna be a star
Me: I mean, you ever study this shit?
She: What you mean? I been doing it my whole life, I just need a chance.
Me: It's easy to imitate what you see, but it ain't gonna get u too far. I asked if you do music, you said "no, I sing."
She: Cause I already know what I'm doing, trust me all my hits on youtube. Somebody gonna get me.
Me: Naw, you capable but not really. You do all those things, but don't really know what you're doing. U can copy not act, move but not dance, sing but not make music. You gotta put your stamp on something if not all three. You're chasing a dream, but you ain't pursuing your goal.
She: Damn..........

My Life is Crazy

Just got back to London from Paris. Been touring a lil bit of Europe. All these flights and train rides have been interesting & fun. Getting cultural. Just practice for my future endeavors, business. SM, we got a lot on our plate. In in love with my life right now though. A couple of years ago I wouldn't imagine myself traveling through a foreign country and doing what I am doing. I went to see John Legend in Paris last night, and got a surprise. Kanye came out and did a li'l performance. That was crazy, doing some exclusive overseas. paris is a cool city, I will continue to make trips there in the future. This life I lead........It's just funny to me, but I feel like I deserve it all. I'm gonna work for it all too. Another funy thing about this week. I'm a sports nut, but I don't pay it too much attention when I travel. My biz partner, (SM co-founder) had to tell me about our Dallas Cowboys cutting TO. An unlikely source for my sports, but hey so goes life...
Life is more than sports, and sometimes I feel people get caught up in the theater of sports and sell themselves shorts. Not us, we gonna own a couple of sports franchises. Dallas Cowboys, we coming....
The theater of SM, got stuck on that, I promise we let you down...True life meets Corporate America

Travels

I went to Ireland this week, after going to Milan last week. These visits opened up my eyes a li'l bit more. Dublin, Ireland is not a glamorous town or anything like that. But, I learned some valuable facts. The Guiness company, is a good business. It owns the most things in Dublin, and they provide good service. All of their former employees will always have a place to eat dinner. They're always welcomed to eat a free meal there forever. Last week in Milan was nice and chilled. Everything in Italy is just sensual & calm. I'm seeing the European way. Next stop:Amsterdam. Then: Paris.

Green & White

Green and White, very important colors. White men run the world in pursuit of green. People with little to nothing import and sell white products while trynna get green. Green can lead to greed, jealousy, and so on and so on. No one really cares about the guy who sells the green, because he's not making serious green, or fucking with another man's green. Fucking with another man's green could mean life or death. All of this was implemented by a white man. He has the green, he distributes the green. Everybody is chasing the green. You gonna use the white man's product to get it? Or abuse the white man's mind?
-Green and White

Mental Exercise

Exercising your brain man, it's harder than lifting weights. Changing your state of mind, that's difficult. No shortcuts around it, you gotta have a heart to heart with that man in the mirror. So far, so good. No big relapse or anything significant. Fighting temptation of sorts; and I been whooping that ass.
Ay, when u get home I gotta move for you, aight? Naw, I'm good.
Waz up with your man, lemme get his number? Naw, I don't want nuffin to do wit that
We goin down to Miami or something, you coming? I gotchu. Naw
You on some otha shit huh? Yeh, some new shit.
Brand new? Niggas gon' think you changed. I know, I am....
So what you don't fuck with everybody no more? Ya'll cool, we'll see who still fuck with who.
Yeh, I'm wit you. But you know..... I ain't tripin off that, I'm still me
You gonna need the money though, how u gon'
deal with that? Be humble, I'll be aight.
You sure? You sound off? Ya'll playing a losing game
What you mean? Listen...
Ay shawty, listen: we love you. If you need anything, Aight, but I'm good t hough.
let me know.

Love me? yeah for the game. Legitimately care about me? Maybe, but everybody selfish to an extent. Is it a body of work I've provided that they in love with? I'm older now, so my work would mean more money. I been to school= more money. I can get more connects= more money. I got a golden boy image=money.
Go legit with it, see what happens. Lesson learned. That's a loser's game. You lose friends, workers, money, freedom, piece of mind & peace at mind.
I like to move how I want, I'm into different moves. Like my father asked me:
I know you can walk. But, where are you walking to?

Miscommunication

Laying across my chest, she look up and asked:You promise not to cheat?... "What game we playin?" I ain't say it, I thought about sayin it. But cheat how I thought, We ain't together, how ima cheat?... She hopped up put her clothes on, crying, cussin, whatever.
I explained that there was no "we". There was me & she... Laughin, drinking, and fuckin don't constitute a relationship... She said friends don't "fuck" friends. I said, "Well they do; they call 'em fuck buddies"
She said that's all I am?...I'm thinkin;
1 .you only see me late at night,
2. You never met family and barely my friends,
3. I met you at the club
So I asked her what she was thinkin. She said cause I was nice, we text every night, and fuck alot.
I shook my head thinkin again. Now I see why it ain't no "you & me" My dick was just good friends with your pussy...

Then I go to lunch with of my male friends the next day. He goes "Son we can talk right? Yeah, I trust you."
I'm thinkin what the fuck 'bout to come outta his mouth. I told him yeah, I'll listen.
He goes off:"Man I fucked this li'l bitch last night right? Then she gonna get up, put her clothes on. Then say it's been fun. So I'm like where you 'bout to go? She talking 'bout she gotta go home. She don't like being up under a nigga all night. So I ask her if something was wrong with my shit right? She gon' tell me, naw I was great, She'll call when she want some more. Like I'm a dick in the jar or some shit. I fucks with her though, I cooked dinner and all that. What you think?"
I told him he was just tripping off nothing. She respecting his space and don't want to rush things. He told me naw; their thing was over after he texted her this morning and found out she was going out to meet another dude for dinner tonight. So I asked what's wrong with that since they weren't serious. He talked about how he treat her, and she was ungrateful and disrespectful. I was thinking maybe he was doing too much and tried to tell him sometimes it be like that. Anyways, I asked him her name and he say "BB."
"BB?"
Damn, I thought. She's taking me out to dinner tonight.

Right

"You ever gonna' stop?" Diamond asks. Right-hand hears her but no immediate response. Instead, he keeps his eyes on the road and remains silent.
"Stop what?"
"You know what I am talking about... I just get worried. You don't need the money, you're doing good."
"What makes you so convinced I been doing something?" Right-hand asks looking over into the passenger seat.
Diamond has no idea why Right-hand likes to go through this unnecessary BS sometimes. She shakes her head,"It ain't rocket science, it's the only time you ignore me that."
Right-hand nods, still nor ready to engage in the conversation,"Who said I was ignoring you? I knew you were coming down to the bar." He only knew because he knew Diamond would come looking for him, and she knew he'd be at that bar.
"And how you know that?"
"You always come looking for me down there. Runnin' up in there like you somebody motha or something."
"So you think you know me? "
"I hope so...I sure hope so."
Diamond folded her arms and kept her head out the window the rest of the ride. The dead silence in the car doesn't matter to Right-hand, he enjoys the slight summer breeze, and rides. He knows Diamond will get over it soon. Diamond sits in the corner thinking about how much of an asshole RIght-hand is; but she knows something good is going to come of their time together. He never lets her down in that sense.
They pull up and get out at Right-hand's condo. Right-hand walks in the house and opens the balcony door where Diamonds sits. He goes and pour favorite wine, Rendezvous. He pours his Bone VSOP. "Waz up though? You mad at me?"
Diamond doesn't respond this time, she sips from her glass almost mocking Right-hand's performance from the car. Right-hand laughs and leans against the side rail. Then Diamond finally breaks her silence.
"You made me miss my movie, asshole."
"First thing in the morning, before my flight leaves"
"Then what? You be MIA for another month?"
"You funny, I work like you. Why u mad?"
" I am not mad..."
"I bought you a ticket to met me down in Florida, you can come down thursday night. We staying at my beach house in Key West."
"Sometimes, I swear you no good."
""Yeah, me too.."

Left

On the ride home from the bar that night, Lefty was stuck in deep thought. Right-hand still feeling normal and non-chalant made Lefty feel a little off. He didn't want to jeopardize Right-hand's fortune anymore. He knows that after tonight, he's really alone on the streets. He won't let Right-hand relapse again. Right-hand has a wife-in-waiting, businesses, investments, vacation homes. He's set, and he will always look out for me is what Lefty thought. At the same time, he's given Lefty money but Lefty was all about flipping it, and that's not a problem to Right-hand, or so it seems. They rode in silence, it felt as if an elephant was in the car. Lefty turned the radio off and to approach the silence.
"Son, thank you. Never again" Lefty said.
"I feel you," Right-hand responded.
"You know how life is, and I just thought......."
"It's aight son, trust me." Right-hand interrupted.
"Naw, you got too much to lose."
"What I got, you got. You know me."
"Yeah, live it up for me" said Lefty.
"I gotchu."

The silence crept back into the car, as the two came to agreement. They understood each other. This was the first time they had a talk of this nature, since it came time to choose colleges. They weren't on the same page in their decisions.
"Hit me," Right-hand said as Lefty got out of the car feeling as though he left something behind once again. No more runs with my man, he thought.
He strolled in his house feeling kind of bittersweet. He picked up his phone, and texted one of his late night freaks from his extensive collection. Who's tongith's lucky winner. He can't stand being alone at night...

MOVE

Evolution of Words

"Sticks and Stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me." That's the bullshit, whoever created that damaged whoever believes that bullshit. Words are powerful, especially when used as a source of expression. Even as the key source of communication. Signs are meanings of words, letters form words, wars starts over miscommunication through words, and etc.
Words make the world go wrong just like money. How do you get money without words?
That's being said, I am a now a chemist in a lab cooking up something lethal, Visual crack? Crack in the form of letters, numbers, and signs.I mean words are what communicates your thoughts to your brain. Words gonna have a whole new life of their own when I am through with them...



They say "Actions speak louder than words." Well actions are either put forth or accompanied by words....

Just Do It

I been trynna think of what to write or what to post. I ain't been thinking of nothing. I usually let things write themselves. I gotta couple of ideas of what I wanna write about, but they ain't finished forming in my big ass head. I guess I have to have a complete well thought out topic or story before I put it in print. This blog is called Life In Print. Completing thoughts or what not has become sort of a them to me. Finish... Finishing what I start, doing what I want to do, when I want to do it. Control is key, control my body first. Starts upstairs, my mind, body and soul. Then everything else will fall in place. I wanna be a a walking representation of what's going on in my head. Clearing myself of a lot of bullshit and garbage is taking place right now. I call it mental conditioning. I'm still in phase 1. Because this process will not stop until my heart does. I like what I am becoming. Traveling to a foreign place physically is symbolic of me traveling to foreign places mentally. This is how I am gathering myself. Think, React. Think, React. Think, React. Nothing is better than the purity of a complete thought. Crazy has a new meaning. Crazy is me not doing what I want to do. Why not me? Why not? Expressing yourself in a way that only you can. That's is what my life has become. I have a lot of thoughts. I have to complete them through my actions....

(This was fun, I just picked up the computer and typed what I was thinking)

Yeah, I go There... February 14th

Do you really love that person as much as you claim you do today?
Are you gon' throw this in their face when they catch you doing wrong in the future?
Is today's special treatment just so your partner can be NASTY?
Does "I love you" really call for an extra meaning today?
Is tonight really the only night you own up to giving head cause it's "Valentine Day?"
Love is supposed to stand the test of time, which means mistakes will be made. But does tonight mean that all mistakes will be forgiven?
Just because you fuck up in the future, does tonight give you a pass?
Are you just actin a certain way today for some pussy? What if it's old pussy? Do you go that extra mile?
Who do you text when yo think it's the last minute? Is this what love is really about? Giving your best on one dat and saying the rest if the year?
Does fucking tonight mean we'll get married?
Hold up? Do you really love me? Or you just stuck in the moment?
I'm sorry boo, but I really love you....see?
I ain't get you nuffin cuz I don't celebrate Valentine's day. Yo should get that all year.

What? Do people actually fall into this shit on Valentine's day? Yeah, they are fools. Whatever happens to actions speaking louder than words? Why don't those actions speak that same volume all the time? I think Valentine's day is just an excuse to trick, or a way to make up to your partner. It's not necessarily to make up fpr doing wrong, but apologizing for what you're not? But why? If you ain't naturally romantic, where is it coming from on Valentine's day? Your heart or perception? Today is a day for imposters, the unforgiven are forgiven, the unfaithful are romantic, and so on and so on. Real love is turned into a mockery on this day, but are they supposed to not celebrate? I believe this day was actually designed to celebrate the true love, how do you do that? I mean honestly, I could give a damn about candles, teddy bears, and chocolate. You eat chocolates when you mad at me, right? I can't plead the fifth on this day either so what am I to do? If all I do is show you I love you, then what do I today? Say it? I think actions speak louder than words, so do I do something out of character? Is our sen going to enter another dimension? What do I do tomorrow? I mean, I think we have the rest of our lives together, at least that's how I am supposed to feel. Now I feel like Musiq, just teach me. Teach me how to to LOVE...

Only The Strong...(needs editing)

After they ditch the car, Lefty and Right-hand go to their respective homes to get ready for the rest of the evening..."I be back through here in 'bout a hour" Right-hand tells Lefty.
"Aight" Lefty replies, "Don't forget your phone in the house."
Right-hand retrieves his phones and responds to a handful of texts from friends. Meanwhile Lefty is in the house smoking some Purp' and reflecting on what just happened. He thinks to himself that there's no one like Right-hand. Right-hand will literally do anything for him. He wonders hows Right-hand feels about what just happened. He never considered that Right-hand might feel a little off given their current circumstances. Before he just thought it was like old times.
Right-hand walks in the house and pours a cup of Bone VSOP and sits it in the refrigerator. He turns some music on, "Other Side of the Game" by Erykah Badu is what his itunes shuffles plays first as he heads to the shower. He hops in listening to the lyrics, and thinks about what else tonight will bring. He has no remorse for his relapse, it's just a part of the game as far as he is concerned. It was necessary to him, Lefty said he had to go so he had to go.
He gets out of the shower and gets dressed, then calls Lefty and tells him he'll be there in a minute. He drinks his cups that he fixed when he walked into the house and it's on. He's grabs his bookbag and heads out the door...
Right-hand and Lefty arrive at a popular bar. They buy drinks at the bar, and reminisce about old days. They flirt with women, most of the people in this bar are at least 5 years older than them, yet their faces are familiar in this crowd. Left-hand is more relaxed and calm, kind of like Right-hand was earlier in the night. He just sits back and watches Right-hand have fun with the crowd at the bar. Right-hand is laughing, telling stories, and joking. Everything is right, no complaints from either side.
Lefty is amazed at Right-hand's transformation. He's always been amazed at how fast Right-hand can switch it up. He's usually anit-social after making a move like tonight. Right-hand always parties it off.
In the midst of social activities, Right-hand feels a tap on his shoulder. He turns around to see a woman with an apparent attitude. " Tonight?" the woman says. Right-hand-looks at her and nods his head while hunching his shoulders with his hands out to the side as if he didn't do anything wrong. She recognizes Lefty and hugs him, and mushes the back of Right-hand's head.
Right-hand pulls her by her arm to go sit in the back of the bar where it's more secluded. This is Diamond, Right-hand's on again off again girl, main thing, future wife. "So what's up? I called you and texted you" she says.
"I know..." Right-hand says before he's interrupted.
"Don't say nothing, you did some dumb shit didn't you?"
"What you talkin' 'bout?"
" I see it in your face. I thought you stopped?"
Right-hand thinks that Diamond is bad, this is why she's his girl or whatever she is.
"I keep telling you, you ain't Superman."
"I hear you, what's going on though? How was your day?" Rights-hand asks pulling Diamond close.
They settle their differences as Diamond curses Right-hand out. Right-hand and Diamond been at it since Right-hand was fourteen. She was 18. Right-hand left her too, but she still shines. She's been threatening to leave Right-hand alone for years thanks to his "street" activity. She grew up privileged, but she connects with Right-hand. His ignorance of her wishes is why they are always off and on. His charm, ambition, and personality is why she stays. He taught her the other side of the game and she wants to understand, so never gives up on him. Their relationship made her mentally tough and even though he leaves her from time to time, she's still successful. Right-hand's precious little Diamond.
Lefty looks at them across the bar, and thinks to himself. "Right-hand got a good one." He sees their chemistry and thinks they're crazy for how they deal with each other. No titles, no handcuffs, no fights, all the problems in the world, and they just keep it moving. He wonders how they manage, even though Right-hand always leaves her for periods at a time. Lefty doesn't see how they balance each other out. He does not see that she's the opposite of Lefty himself. She's what Lefty is not, Left and Right-hand move to the same beat. They function as one, they never resist the other. They are alike with one key difference, Right-hand has a stronger will and thinks in terms of a big picture. Lefty just thinks in terms of the city, he's fit for the city and the city only, which is why he never left. Diamond exposed Right-hand to much more and challenges him. Makes him better...
Right-hand and Lefty are one of the same kind but, Right-hand is diverse while Lefty has one train of thought. This is why they both couldn't turn the same way; Lefty's mind would not let him and Right-hand would not challenge him...

Friday the 13th

Friday the 13th London style...Let's see what happens...

All or Nothing and survival along the way...

Prelude to My Masterpiece

The word Hood was formed from the word Good but the "G" was replaced with the "H" from Hell...



The inner-city aka the hood aka the Ghetto...
Black America
Full of all sorts of characters just looking to survive
All playing roles in a grand scheme, but with the same complex
Let's call it the "Inner" complex
This complex if full of duality, subplots, good vs. evil, & good/evil
But it all comes from the same state of mind
We got the....
Old Married Couple:
They so into each other they just let things BE
Nothing's more beautiful to them than love... It's priceless
Symbolic of Lauryn Hill's "Nothing Even Matters"
They have kids and they kids can be...
The Female:
The Inner Complex has a multitude of women
The Single Black Woman... single due to her sense of pride or bitterness
She may have been scorned or burned from pasr relationships
Or she might just be too independent for a man to accept
She'll love you like you love yourself, But misogyny is not her concept
She may or may not have kids, and they'll be her pride and joy
Then there's the trifling version of her...
The Selfish Naive Single Woman
She's the definition of "Trick or Treat", cause with her...
You either tricking, or she's your treat...
And it just so seems that's she interested in the Dope Boy
He's the hustler, drug dealer, and maybe a G
Or least he affiliated with 'em
It is he who brings the most pain into the inner-city aside from his Providers
He has assembled or is part of a narcotics team
They distribute coke, crack, weed and E
You can have whatever you like,
And these be the ones addicted to the limelight
It's kinda ironic, considering he 'sposed to stay outta sight
Outta sight? you out ya mind
Night is his time to shine
Clubs, pictures, bottles and wannabe model
The life of a local celebrity
And he might be charismatic, full of charm and grace
Grin and smile while he doin' harm in your face
He transport drugs @ will
Shootin slugs that kill, and if he ain't shootin,
He gotta someone that will, and he'll pay the bill
Outsiders looking in, "That nigga's ill". A social ill
Then there's the Urban Athlete:
He's a local celebrity too, and he more than likely he got ties to the dope boy
or he's what the Dope-boy used to be...
He inspires to be the next LeBron or LT
Driven by his father or lack thereof as he can be the son of the Single Black Woman.
His life can be reflective of both Heaven and Hell
He's in the limelight all day, and strangers always got something to say
People seek to exploit him and Many Seek to get at him
You never know their intentions are, They're just wishing upon a star...
The athlete may like the aforementioned trifling female, but he really wants Ole Faithful:
The female that stands there through thick and thin, despite all the random night he never check-in
She rides for her man, there ain't a dishonest bone in her body
More than likely she's been through it all in relationships, and she prolly used to be a tomboy
She wants to be her own woman, independent, but she can either be destroyed by a man or turned off to men altogether.
She can be the Girl that Like Girls:
Conflicted interest derived due to the mistreatment of men, either from within the family or failed relations
The mistreatment from within could be abuse or molestation done by the sick perverts that lurk through the inner-city
They prey on the young and innocent, they have insecurities or drug addiction or both.
They're are sick, the ones that just are not respected in the inner-city. Imposing their will on innocent little girls.
And there perverts that don't get the same attention, but they do the same but on a different scale.,,
They manipulate the teenage girls and impose their will on them until she either resists or is broken,
A simple choice of words could bruise his ego, but most of the time this pervert would indulge in relation with younger girls for the same reasons as the other pervert.
He is also accompanied by the Young But Old Teen, who seeks this pervert.
She's sexually advanced or just intrigued by older dudes who can Do for her. She's young and her future is a toss up
She don't like listening to people or she just misunderstood...Maybe she could relate to the "Faggy":
The gay male in the inner-city that females love and niggaz hate(or so they say)
He just doesn't wanna be tough, He preers to be flamboyant of "one of the girls"
Neighborhood renegade and showoff, King of credit fraud
Which leads to the boys in Blue
Yeah, The Boys in Blue do:
The authority
The Law
5-0
Some of them be that bullshit because they are apart of narcotics teams as well
He makes side profits figuring he can't stop the crime so join it...
He abuses his authority and just as dirty as the shadiest character around.
Claim he a good guy, but just a mirror of the dope boy who does good on occasion
And Homocide... The Detectives:
Manipulators at it's finest
they use people just to erase cases off the board
Nevermind that while erasing one case they create another
They portray people as snitches in a place where snitching is forbidden
They create bogus charges knowing their targets are amongst the most uneducated in the world
They can care less about who died and why, they function by any means necessary
They know who the bad guys are, cause they grew up watchin each and every one
Yet they wait 'til they have to do something to react, which means when that board downtowns needs a face beside it to make it go away
They figure that most of the people here are bad, and it doesn't matter what crime he is convicted of cause he was going to jail anyway..................... They run narcotics teams too, all kingpin drug dealers are also killers and the none of 'em ever white?
Sound funny? I know
The Boys in Blue work for what I call Mr. MIA:
He got pull in America, both corporate and Streets
He's the provider of the Dope-Boys materials; drugs and guns alike
Though he's never seen
MIA
He can afford to make frequent trips to South Beach
MIA
Big house, lavish life, model for a wife. American Principles was written for him (check the blogs)
He used his social drug of cocaine and chopped up up to give birth to Crackheads aka Aunties and Uncs:
Crackheads are like necessary evils in the inner-city
They work hard and clean for cheap, kinda like immigrants in America on a bigger scale.
They're also like encyclopedias, they can tell the history of their neighborhood
They know every single thing that has occurred, but they addicted to the 1st high
They'll chase it 'til they die. They used to be everything good and are now the result of everything gone bad...
The inner-city has mainstay institutions too:
Overcrowded schools
Liquor stores and carry-outs owned by Koreans
and the Penitentiary where our young men finally meet other people from different walks of life...
Despite the bad we still have the occasional success, I call it Beautiful:
Beautiful is the young one with their head on straight, they made it out and gave back
Male or female, they defied the odds, and made It happen...They become artists, CEOs, Lawyers, Doctors, Entrepreneurs, etc.
The sun shines bright on them, but for each one it's a million other inner city characters that develop to Content:
The in between Beautiful and the Bad
And can consists of the reformed Dope-Boy who just wants to see his kids make it
And the murderer who's chasing serenity in helping kids develop into something to make up for the dreams he stole.
Or the woman, who finally found herself after realizing she doesn't need a man to make her whole
And the elderly who done lived through this all and cherishing their last days on the earth
They sit back and watch..While people always die, old and young. Another life enters this world and is born into the complex in which every plays a role and a part. Some people consume more than one or two...

It's a Fork In the Road & They Can't Drive the Same Way

Meet Lefty & Right-hand
They're best friends
Lefty grew up only to LEFT back in the city streets after HS
Right-hand is living quite alRIGHT, he's went to college & doing all the RIGHT things
Lefty's a good dude, heart of gold just like Right-hand & it's a lot in RIght-hand that ain't RIGHT. The roles can easily be reversed. Regardless of circumstances, Right-hand. Lefty are like Yin and Yang. At the end of the day, they just see each other as one of the same kind...

Lefty and Right-hand are chilling (a rare occasion these days). Drinking, smoking, and just talking. Lefty pulls out a shopping bag and looks at Right-Hand, "I need you to ride wit me." Right-hand just nods. He pulls out a black hoody, sweatpants, and football gloves.The Uniform. They walk to the car, Right-hand still has his drink in hand, no too sure of what's really going on wit Lefty. He forgot what he left behind when he turned right. The drive around the city, Lefty lays out tonight's plans:
"Yeah son, take a look at this, gotta silencer and all..... These niggas been runnin' they mouf too much. They bout to fuck all kind of shit up. Ya feel me? When we pull up follow my lead, It's usually two or three niggas. you know how dat be. U 'memba Dum Dum and dem?... Yeah, I know they ain't strapped, I been watchin dem niggas. You fuck with this joint? I got da' banana clip for this joint. But I ain't gon' need that tonight... U gon' finish your cup?"
Right-hand just sits there nodding his head the whole time."So Dum Dum and dem huh?"
They pull up behind an apartment building complex, right around the corner from Dum Dum's car. Lights off, Right-hand takes his cup to the head. They pull out ski-masks, load and cock their weapons. Lefty gotta .45 and Right-hand a 380, his favorite. They check the safety locks on their weapons making sure there ain't no trigger jams. They sit there in dark and silence, looking around to make sure nobody noticed them. Lefty know this spot is perfect, he's practiced several times in the last week. His car tonight, a car from the local junkyard, stolen out of town tags. After another hour or so, Lefty nudges Right-hand, "C'mon son, there they go."
Lefty and Right-hand get out of the car as Dum Dum walks towards his car. They jog softly towards Dum Dum and his confidante. Too late Dum Dum, Lefty just let one off in his head, and Right-hand follows up at the confidante, but Lefty is quicker and the Confidante catches two. Turn and Run; they jump in the car and pull off.
Right-hand's eyes are bloodshot red and Lefty looks content. "You aight?" Lefty asks. Right-hand nods and reclines his seat after he removes his ski-mask. "Thanx son, you still trynna go out?" Right-hand, laying back in the seat,"Yeah, take me around some bitches." The duo, rides to the back alley of a city project, where they remove their shoes, sweatshirts, gloves, ski masks, and sweatpants. They throw them in the trash, and proceed home in gym shorts to shower and go out. Right-hand knows what kind of life he left behind; but in his eyes Lefty deserves to be right too. So he does whatever he can do...

Four Seasons

The other day I let something go. "It" called me a few days ago, but yet again i was without words. I wonder why I am so non-chalant? " I guess the season has changed" stealing a page from "their" book. I'm in a new season and I know it ain't gonna be no Summer like the one I just had, even though it ended with a storm. I can't wait to see what the Fall has in store for me..........................................................

Two Ends of the Spectrum

I'm on my computer watching basketball, then I get a message from my li'l brova. I love him to death, that's my man. He just made my week. Then I start talking business with my man, We making big plans. Collaborations gon' be sick when we get to it; hopefully this summer. He one of the few dudes I can have an uplifting conversation with. None of that street shit or regular DC shit or drama. Just straight business, inspiration, and life. No homo, but I like talking about new things like that. We gon' do big things.
Then..that bullshit. Certain ppl hit me up with drama. It's funny, cuz I was asked did I talk to them a couple of weeks ago and the answer was no and with good reason. Drama as usual, life like walking in quicksand. On top of that, My newlywed man locked up for a domestic dispute.
What the fuck? Certain people just bearers of bad news and some just inspiration.

Lies of Gold

The most serene place next to heaven in the minds of most is....Music
Music, the escape to a fantasy world, really soothes any thoughts you can possibly think of...
It captivates the mind and takes you into a world unique to you, It takes to to a level where the beat in in sync with your mind body & spirit. It's even deeper than that. The music... it's innocent lies that help people deal with harsh realities or capture the moments of which they are overcome with emotions. The music, there is always a song that tells you exactly what you wanna hear. There is a song that relates to every person, moment, emotion, etc. You drown yourself into the beats, fall in love with the lyrics until you're back at peace. If you could, you would do that all day long, But no world exists where it's just you and the music. The music, it can make you feel unstoppable, like a force unknown to man...Get Rich or Die Tryin', Li'l Wayne, Pac and...ROSS aka THE BOSS can make you think bullets, missiles, a handful of your worse enemies can't do nothing with you once your gangsta anthem comes on. The message combined with beats and rhythm steal your mind for a brief moment and you are not to be FUCKED with. Then there's the song that taps into your into your super-ego. Swag? What? Snoop Dogg, Jay- Z, TI give you more than that, ypu really feeling yourself, something like the greatest pimp known to man, it's the confidence booster. You wish a MUTHAFUCKA would...Or you can mellow it out and LOVE your partner like no other, and ya'll can make love out of the world, and sex on the stars, and walk amongst clouds, and just do things that normal people don't do Thanx to Marvin, Luther. & Teddy P. It's the music, it builds the world that you wanna see, For the super freaks you get Prince, Rick James, R. Kelly to help express your wild bedroom desires. For the lady that wanna walk like the men, you Get your the Queen B. The women struggling in relationships can relate to Mary J cuz she take you through it all, and the mentally challenged relationships get down w/ Keyshia Cole who convinces that problems is what love is all about.The more sophisticated lay back and listen to Jill talk about her Long Walks. The self-conscience run to Ms. Hill or drown in Baduism, and the self-proclaimed misunderstood can relate to Kanye, and for those that like the Ye, they get high to Devin the Dude... Not to be left out you got you Outkast who love the stars, trees, and sun and jam to Maroon 5, and the rockers who rock to coldplay and Greenday, Then the Old souls that rather hear Mahilia Jackson sing about her pain, and the jazz get down to the Duke, Coltrane, and Monk. It's music, each song can take on a life of it's own. You get lost in the moment, the stories they tell you really think that they are talk to you. You feel like they know you, the musician is your inner voice and heart at the current moment. They provide the great escape. heaven on earth if there ever was such; and it's all a lie, A very beautiful and golden lie. Music will never die...

Bone VSOP

Brown, Smooth & Warm
Caresses your Soul
Sets forth Beautiful thoughts


Warning:
1+1= at least 3
May make a phone call to Earl
Raises Hell if consumed by one w/ Bad emotion

Acceptable Behavior

I never understood the whole, good loss, thing. I can't fathom celebrating losing. Ain't in my system, and I will not apologize for that. The goal when you set forth to do something is to accomplish what you have in mind. Failure and/or losing is not what you had in mind, so why accept it. I'll gladly accept the incentives of winning, but never completely accept the fact of failing. While I'm on the subject, what's success? Will my obsession with success ever be fulfilled. As long as I keep on accomplishing what was set forth in the beginning then I'll be alright. If I fail, I'm coming back harder than before. Why not go that hard in the first place? You have to enjoy the success, no stress is necessary while winning. Go hard, but cherish the moment. Fail? Take that moment for what it is, but correct that ASAP. Failure just ain't a option, plain and simple. Anger fuels motivation, just the same as success. Success= satisfaction, which creates happiness and exudes great forces into the universe. Failure= hunger for success. I WILL WIN aka SUCCEED...

Random Writing or Typing

One month..."Outta my Element" is fine...... I never felt this way mentally, that's interesting...I'm too caught up in my own world, don't got a lot time for people in this program, cool with me......People watch, people do. I DO. Watchers are like film critics. I should write a book: "The Art of Watching"....An addiction to life is so much better than my past addiction....Reading can be fun..Everyone should try losing oneself within oneself( if it make sense to you)...My fatha love this facebook thing, I'm glad. He gave me an idea. Using my passport was a milestone...Just Do It, great words Nike...Don't really miss home; most of my people support me and happy. Some, well fuck it...I'm fascinated by being great, now wonder I got bored with football, great players don't = great people. I'm built for the latter...The Lab...Can't wait to get my own apartment/house, home...I saw a real snow day for the first time in 7 seven years...

No 9-5 for me

Brand new? Naw ... Change? Why not? It's one of the guarantees in life. I write a lot about change, and talk to people who scared of it, think they not allowed to or just accept small changes. Like they'll change what kinda music they listen to this week, or what flavor kool-aid they like. Fuck outta here? Certain mindsets lead to 9-5s at best. If you know me, you already know that ain't gonna work for me. Naw, can't do it, and I won't do it. I ain't too good for it, but I am too selfish. Selfish ain't always bad, I was given a life one. My heart doesn't beat for two. The whole non-stop clock action on my job, I like. Working even while I'm sleeping ? I like. Having money make itself? I like. Making things better for other people? I like, but at my own disposal, I am selfish. I will sacrifice a little of myself for my family and friends, but to work for a stranger and make my schedule evolve around him/her...That would be that bullshit. Just ain't in my make-up. I bounce to my own beat. He think he know everything? He think he so smart? He can't do that. He dumb as shit if he think. Ole stuck up ass nigga. blah, blah, blah. Anything else?

Adrenaline Rush

Bus tour, Museum, Buckingham Palace, London Eye, Cruise in the freezing cold, then dinner (twice), and the Absolut Ice Bar. All in one day.... Mental conditioning. I been over here for 4 weeks, just bought tickets to Paris and a concert. Going to Italy, Spain, Amsterdam, and Egypt too. I'm traveling, something I wasn't really thinking about a couple of years ago. I used to think it was beyond me, I wasn't the type. Fighting against the odds is good. It actually brings some excitement to life. My business adventure, or adventures is the same. Things that challenge the mind just oozes excitement. I basically dedicated my whole future well being to my goal to change the media industry worldwide. Most people think why me? Why NOT me? I'm going for it. I like this traveling thing, it's apart of my business too. My goals is like having a baby in the jungle. The parent gonna fight to the death for that child...I ain't dying no time soon, and the fight = EXCITING.....................................SM

Answers?

Couple of questions, for black people...
When evaluating or looking back at how drugs exploited the community, how come we think the drug dealer is the coolest? Nevermind the addicts right? Even if we got some in our own families? The drug dealer is still cool right?
Or why when watching gangsta movies, the coolest nigga is always the nigga that end up dead or in jail? That's the goal? Die fast or slow in jail?
How about the obsession with the mob? Black people and Italians are not linked by heritage... The mafia and mob, aren't too fond of our interpretations of their lives. But why? Black people are quick to relate to the mob and quick to dismiss Africa. Interesting right?
How did black leaders slowly digress from Martin and Malcolm to Biggie and Tupac? Nothing wrong with the latter two, but what did they do? They were great entertainers, but..... Glad Obama came along.
Misogyny? Why the women always gotta explain their sexual history? Why are the men, MEN because of their history? The more time you spend fucking and chasing sex, the less time you doing something productive. True or false? Why is so much time dedicated to controlling women? Shouldn't more time be spent on altering these states of mind? Or am I crazy?

Minds of Art

A great mind can create something that transcends through time. It is forever relevant. A less developed mind...it can create something just for the moment. A "so-so" mind can give you something reflective of the times and so can the imprisoned mind. A prisoner of the moment can't think completely straight. The good mind sets forth something with potential but not year along the lines of greatness. Great minds, they transcend, they stand as brilliant regardless of the time in history or whatever. Art is the field where minds. Everything in the world embodies a form of art. EVERYTHING...Whomever came up with the idea of the tape player, they had a good mind. Not great because now the tape player is almost obsolete. The invention of the CD player cancelled out tape players. The CD player was a very good idea, but still not great.MP3 & IPOD creators, great. They took simple concepts and combined them with another great invention, the Internet. The Internet changed the entire world and society as we know it. It is transcendent, it has transferred into all aspect of life. The only thing the internet does not allow you to do is physically touch something that isn't within your reach. The minds....
Movies- movies that live forever in the minds of many are produced by great minds. Or just the very thought of that movie was a great thought. Same for music. Dance music, snapping fingers, super soaking, the bounce, the butterfly-products of good minds. The marketers and promoters that bring it to the public-great minds. They obviously don't care about what the product does as long as it sells. Money transcend people from broke to stable, and so on and so on. Musicians that are hailed as legends, great minds. They presented a message and lifestyle that still rings true years and years after the fact. Legends for their craft, not legends as pioneers, just to clear that up. Great minds of architecture and design. Their influence is still prevalent today. The people who designed and built the historical Egyptian pyramids, GREAT
My parents, GREAT minds, they managed to create me.....LOL

Life by The Moments

Live for the moment
Embrace the moment
Learn from the Moment
Don't neglect the moment
Move to the next moment
Cherish that moment as if it were your life...
Life is full of moments, and no moment is exactly alike
Deja vu? yeah but there's previous knowledge of this moment so you learned something prior to this moment.
Moments are special, they are the events in which every person is molded and shaped into who they are...
Yes every moment, from the worse to the best and everything in between. Even what you do when you are alone.
Moments...
Neglecting moments happens a lot too. Running. It's ain't good, it always catch back up to you... Acknowledge your faults and move on, nothing's wrong with that. You can't outrun life itself, so if it's time then....
Live in the moment, not just for it. Make the best of each situation, don't rollover and wait for it to be over.
The moments.....Every single aspect of life happens within a moment.

Random

They gonna think we cocky when we get back home? You see that man today, Mr. President, that black man. I'm 'bout to walk in some shoes like that in the next 10 years...
Black President of the U S of A; never thought I'd see that. Then again, I never thought I'd leave the US either. London is beautiful; I'm finding myself. U find yourself more when you outta your natural element. You got nothing to lean on, no backbone. But if you hungry? U gonna find a way to eat right? shout out to Sunday Mornings co-founder...
But anyways, Life is changing more and more everyday. I feel like my brain is a pen, and sometimes I don't know how to put the lid back on...
I found my zone, everyone's welcome, but if u ain't fuckin wit me, then fuck you and your thoughts too.. All negative shit carry unnecessary weight... I can raise hell, I know that, but what good do it do if it aint benefiting me? Money ain't gonna cure everything, but it make for better situations, and ima get my fair share while im on this mission....Since I left the states, my brain been runnin wild. It's like a untamed lion or sumthin. Thoughts...just thoughts, they're beautiful, especially if u know u gonna put 'em in motion. I just know I'm gonna impose my will on my Target, Sunday Morning. Mental Conditioning for 8 months and running, and it's only gettin' better. I know it's gonna be a few bitter people along the way, but fuck it, let's go...I heard the President today, he ain't come out there off no party shit. I cherish this moment, but partying for a week on his behalf ain't proving nothing. Granted our ancestors ain't have the luxury of partyin that this generation did, they still got it in. Where u think all us came from?....My question is WHat are we gonna do now? he's in office. No more excuses now huh? We gonna carry him like we did MLK, and yeh as a whole we carried MLK, thank Mr. Obama for putting the ppl on his back. But what now? How we gonna treat the leader of the New Free World? The whole campaign is change, a LOT of black people, niggas in particular scared of change...We gonna all of sudden stop droppin outta school? We gon' drop the guns? Drugs? Mentality? It's a copy-cat society amongst black ppl, but only when it's easy. Like dressin like somebody? Or findin the most clever/ignorant shit to say outta your mouth? Are black ppl gonna go back to havin some substance? We'll see.....I know where I'm going though

Reality Sets In

I am real cool
One of the realest
I'm so cool cause i keep it real
It's just what i am, can't help it
I update my facebook at least 5 times a day
I create the best status just to see what my hatas gotta say
They just hate cause I'm real and they wish they was this cool
I wear my emotions on my sleeve, I aint got shit to hide
I let my life play out in the public
I put up pictures every week to show the world the life of the real
I should be on TMZ or sumthin, teach 'em how to be cool
Yeah, I'm just...I'm Just...I'm just so real I'm almost outta touch reality...
I am out of touch with reality
I lie to myself
I live like I'm a character on TV
I am insecure
Vulnerable
Scared to deal with reality,
So I just do the opposite of what is cool to me
My computer is a shelter to me
Facebook, Myspace... It is Hollywood to me
I neglect reality
So I forced this facade to be cool to me
Lauryn Hill once said "Fantasy is what we want, but reality is what we need......"

Mary Go Round: Catch 22

Couple of months ago...
U told him NO
"Eww girl, he ain't my type"
Good boy, too nice
Ya other man wouldn't quite "it"
Now u want something legit
And that's what u try to get
Back to the good boy,
He embraces you, a new found joy
He shows you the good things in life
You envision yourself as bein' somethin' resembling a wife
He helped you find you
And You are all right again
Lord bless him
Amen
You praise him, worship him
He got your heart, U should went his way from the start....
But you are now the haunted, Your sweet precious beloved (you get the picture)
Is being sought after like diamonds in Africa
He don't wanna be with you,
His round 2 intentions was to mislead you
You played him once, and you won't do it again
Your expression of love is the sound of revenge
He betrayed you, thats what rejected people do
You neglected his good in the pursuit of bad (bad boy image)
Now you missed out on the greatest love you never had
And you're just damaged goods
Pretty girl
Trust issues
Nice curves
Wounded womb
Lost soul