Bar Behavior

Soooooo, I like to drink right? Well, me and a couple of friends went out to a bar the other nite. Nice crowd, girl:guy ratio pretty even. Black people bar, so they playing our music. You know how that be in the bar. People two stepping, dancing like go-go dancers and carrying on. Anyways, me and my friends we in there doing what we do. We act a fool and have fun when we drunk, it's our own world. I got oner friend, after a couple of drinks she start flirting with the bartender to get free drinks. My other friend, start molesting the dudes sitting next to her. ( I thought it was supposed to be the other way around.) I got another friend whispering sweet bullshit to the girl next him. My other man keep tapping me, talkin about, " Son, she keeping giving me the eye, they gon' have to ride with you tonite. "
We keep laughing, having fun. Meanwhile, my fried has convinced the bartender to give us a round of drinks. My man still maintains that he is taking this girl home. And my other friend is over in the corner with one of the dudes she was molesting. She bout to sell him a dream, she nothing more than a flirt. A newcomer has joined the group. She standing over my shoulder while my man keeps telling me his status with the girl across the bar. I'm fucking with the female bartenders while holding conversation with the girl over my shoulder. Me and the bartenders laugh at how my friend is about to get their co-worker fired. He kept giving us drinks. They gave me a drink cuz i made them laugh. Girl over my shoulder is intrigued by my sexual presence. Not that I am a sex figure or anything like that, I just seem to get a lil sexual while that Bone VSOP is in my system. I been chasing it with Shy the whole time so I'm gone. She think the scar on neck is a hicky, I told her i don't do those. She insists on trying to suck on my neck anyways. Me being me, I whisper nasty things in her ear, about making her left leg shake etc. She's aroused and so she buys me a drink, I slide it to my friend who's working the bartender. She's playing in my head and I'm fucking with her head. She thinking about the future prospect of giving me head. It's all fun to me. My man finally convinced the girl from across the bar to come over.
I finish my convo with the girl over my shoulder, she left me her #. My friend got the dude in the corner two stepping with her, making a fool of him so we could all laugh. My other friend must have sold the bartender a helluva dream, he's convinced he got one tonight. The lady bartenders behind the bar get the word -for -word story of my visitor. You ain't suppose to kiss and tell; but ain't nothing wrong with "tell to drink" They giving away free drinks. My man wrapped up his convo with the girl from across the bar, they about to go get something to eat. My friend returns from dude in the corner, he leaves with the ad face. No number, no nothing. My friend flirting with the bartender turns to me and ask, "Babe, you ready to go home?" The female bartenders and I look at each other and laugh. Then we pack up and leave. I left the napkin with my visitor's # under my last glass.......

Feelin' It ( Random)

Just starting a new job..Don't really like it, but I need a money resource.

I gotta get a grip of this patience thing or organization. I gotta lot on my plate...

Home is a myriad of things. Not enough words to explain this place. The city's changing, some people are, but deep inside it's still DC. There ain't another place in the world like it. It can be a a gift & a curse being from here. (I will write a book)

I don't sleep much, I get enough to recharge my batteries. I'm about to hit the gym again soon. . Mind, body, & soul all gotta be intact. SM keep ringing through my head, it's stitched on the side of every thought that passes through my brain.

I put my life in perspective a lot. My life ain't half bad, matter of fact it's great. I think I am a very versatile individual, I am content with myself.

My life has been moving so fast recently. My li'l cousin calmed me down. He like to keep shit simple, he think he a li'l man. I ain't realize how fast he's growing up. My parents getting older, grandma too. My sick aunt is doin better. Some people still stuck in difficult places. I had to sit back and analyze that. I walked in the house the other day, and my mother had my old workout shirt on from HS.
My father gotta rack of gray hairs in his beard.

My cosuin lives life through me. I finally talked to him for the first time since i been back from overseas. Calls from Hell is what I call them...

Looked at old football games of me today, from little league through HS. I was a beast on the field. I had a KILLER instinct. Flat out killer, no other way around it. I can see why it became an obsession. This new obsession runs my life though. It's great, so it's not going to ruin my life. People not ready, this thing here (SM) is about to rule their life. SM

Keep A Grasp

A lot of people been letting this recession shatter dreams. Not going for it. The media has been pushing this so hard that it is scaring people. A lot of people simply weren't living within in their means, and it's not everyone's fault. But people are looking for one to blame. Can't change it though, it's done. I can control the message being sent by the media. Our economy ain't pretty at all, but reality is I gotta work harder for what I want. No problem there. Change my goals up though? Naw.

The Worse of the Best ( storytelling)

You're cool but..... We're at different places right now. I ain't looking for love or nothing like that, or a relationship. Sometimes, the idea seems kind of cool, but really? I just ain't ready for it. I like my freedom, my space, the right to move as I please. You haven't done anything wrong, it's me. I don't think I am wrong, and you figure; what's new? But I really am not wrong, I just prefer not to be so close. I don't want to let you down. You wanna be #1, but.....You may be my #1 girl , but it doesn't mean much when you're not much of a priority. You provide a breath of fresh air sometimes, but.....I just think that's cool. You say u feel comfortable and in a safe place with me. That's good, but that kind of makes me feel funny. I can make room for you, but then I'll feel like I am making a mistake. I ain't scared of love, & I think you'll be fun to be in it with. But me? I might not be so fun. I am selfish right now, and you say you understand. Maybe you do, but there is also something called human nature. U ready for that? You deserve better, but who'll give it to you? You want it from me. While I am capable, I ain't ready. When you move on, I'll be jealous. Probably test you, but I got it coming. I got too much going on for us right now. Love is too much of a burden. If this were my perfect world; you'd understand me completely. You'd understand that I want you to trust every and anything I do when you are not around. You wouldn't let the distance bother us when I am away. You would not mind if I ignored a text cause I was busy. Your mind wouldn't wonder because I hang with a lot of females. You would embrace our time together, and love me more when we're apart. And the same goes for me. But it ain't in us. Love brings out the best & worse............I'ma sit love down and manipulate it one day. Bullshit huh?

Welcome Back pt. 2 ( Time to Work)

I ain't been writing...Been thinking, plotting as I would like to say. My life is different now, and more change is coming. I just know I ain't gonna settle for less. I see that too much a home. DC is beautiful too, the good, the bad, the ugly. still the epitome of beauty. I AM BACK, i wrote about it already. I feel like a kid again. Raw, talented, and my mind.....I've been humbled by life. I am fortunate enough to have been around, and kind of have enough knowledge of a wise old man. I am young though. People around me haven't changed much, I think they're scared.I came home to find out that dick, pussy, & sports is just as powerful as the Bible where I am from. It makes some people's world go around, but under it all is wealth. Financially and spiritually. It's easy to be ignorant, stupid to be intelligent. When it's too late it's "I wish I was that smart when I was young." Yeah?
I am not scared to go outside of the box. I'm willing to risk everything for SM right now.
SM
















You gotta let it marinate, cause when it hits it'll be gratifying for me. It'll reflect everything I've been through and everything anyone has been through. It'll reflect a new outlook on life. Sunday Mornings, will be a new lifestyle.

Welcome Back pt. 1

Welcome back America. DC

I AM BACK

I been back for a week. I seen ya'll face at the bar, yeah, I am back. Same but a li'l different. I been so focused on change for a while now. I've been making slow progress. And more and more I've been open about my progress. Accepting change and doing things that put me out of my element. While I was out of my element, I did a lot of thinking. A lot..........I realized while change is good, I miss the old me. The me that was naturally different, original, unique, silly and the same " I don't give a fuck" mentality. The I don't give a fuck stuck with me, but the originality got lost along the way. That's what I miss, I was always a breath of fresh air wherever I went. Somehow I dropped to average, normal, whatever. Being average, or falling into the norm is more peaceful or what have you given my mentality. Fuck it though, I am who I am. I am back, I feel like i am back to my natural state of mind. I am original again. It rubs some people the wrong way, Fuck 'em. Sarcastic comments, flat out jealousy, and so forth; it all means nothing. I've always been called crazy, arrogant and so forth. I'm different & comfortable in my own skin. Asshole? I'll take it. Arrogant? Naw, not really but Mr. Ward? Always. My presence right now intimidates a lot of people. It is what it is, I am back. I couldn't feel no better. I'm making everyday fun, no matter what. It's what i do. I mean society got tired of being original so it reverts back to retro style, and things repeats itself. I gotta blueprint to greatness, I gotta be me to get there.

I owe u this, (no homo) AS U WOULD SAY

Aye, I'm living life over here in europe. It's about to come to an end but I wanna just say thank you. U were the one who said "fuck that shit, do it". I remember you exact words, And they actually stuck. I been hard headed most of my life, why listen to somebody younger than me? U gotta gift though, ur voice ring louder than u think. 'Member those day we was bitter in the car thinkng abut studying abroad? Stress ain't the word,. Well, we both doing it now. We can't have bad days in the office, we don't too well with those...lol. I just wanna say thank you. I'm going hard for what we believe in...

No Title

Hey waz up?
I been reflecting on what me & you been through
A lot right?
I'm forever grateful for you no matter what
Each day our relationship gets stronger...better
Even on the not so good days, we get better
I've recently come to understand your worth, your value
I like where our journey is going
You watch me grow from a boy to a man
I still ain't got all my marbles but you still stand by my side
All the times I been disrespectful, I apologize
I've been reckless at times looking for excitement that you ain't need
Drama and shit like that
Now we gonna have a lot of action, but for good cause
Overall, you gotta be happy with what I am though
Our relationship is one of kind
You are the reason my heart beats,
When you leave, my heart will stop,
You are Life, I love my life

Let's Play (It's a Silly Game)

So...I'm out at dinner with a nice young lady, and we're enjoying each other's conversation. We got certain levels of interest, natural human behavior or what have you. Sex becomes the topic of conversation, she seem kind of sophisticated, but a li'l wild at the same time. At least that's the vibe I'm getting. Food is gone, she's waiting for dessert, and sex is the topic. (I don't have dessert...She's it)
We talk about how people come to engage in sex with their partners and how some girls are freaks and so on and so on. Along the way, I tell her that I am practicing celibacy. A lie but not really. I'm open for the opportunity, I just ain't been pursuing it, but whatever. That's a first move, I'm hoping she try to test me tonight. She proceeds to tell me that's cool and most guys aren't like that. They go straight for the drawers. I know, I am a guy is what I think. We keep talking and she tells me about why she doesn't trust guys and so forth. Then she talks about how it's a double standard about how guys and girls are perceived. That conversation, everybody knows how it goes...
We kept talking but the conversation got away from sex. We get in the car, and she tells me to stop at the liquor store. She goes in and buys Bone VSOP, my favorite. I can tell she been paying attention from our dates. We get to her house and she fixes glasses for us two, then throws in the movie "Love Jones." A classic movie for man/woman relations and complications. My kind of movie, and she knows it. She made a comment about it when she was at my house. We proceed to drink the whole fifth of Bone VSOP. It's kinda warm, so we half undress a little bit. Tipsy, we debate about the movie. Hypotheticals fill the debate; and "what ifs" turn physical. She got me= her mindset. I got her = my mindset. So who won?

Damn (storytelling)

She say she wanna be famous. I think, what about the money? She say she just wanna be a star. She wanna be like Beyonce.
Me: So you do music?
She: "Naw, I sing, dance, and act."
Me: Which one you do best?
She: I'm good at all three, I used to take dance class, sing in the choir & I just know I can act.
Me:That's what's up. That's what you in school for?
She: Naw, I study criminal justice. I wish i could do it though, I know I'm good at it.
Me: Why not do the dancing and singing shit then?
She: I be singing with my friends and stuff & I dance on youtube. I gotta whole rack of hits and comments. All that, people be saying good stuff about me on there.
Me: That's your fame right there, still what you wanna do?
She: That ain't fame, I want the bright lights, concerts, and movies. I wanna be a star
Me: I mean, you ever study this shit?
She: What you mean? I been doing it my whole life, I just need a chance.
Me: It's easy to imitate what you see, but it ain't gonna get u too far. I asked if you do music, you said "no, I sing."
She: Cause I already know what I'm doing, trust me all my hits on youtube. Somebody gonna get me.
Me: Naw, you capable but not really. You do all those things, but don't really know what you're doing. U can copy not act, move but not dance, sing but not make music. You gotta put your stamp on something if not all three. You're chasing a dream, but you ain't pursuing your goal.
She: Damn..........

My Life is Crazy

Just got back to London from Paris. Been touring a lil bit of Europe. All these flights and train rides have been interesting & fun. Getting cultural. Just practice for my future endeavors, business. SM, we got a lot on our plate. In in love with my life right now though. A couple of years ago I wouldn't imagine myself traveling through a foreign country and doing what I am doing. I went to see John Legend in Paris last night, and got a surprise. Kanye came out and did a li'l performance. That was crazy, doing some exclusive overseas. paris is a cool city, I will continue to make trips there in the future. This life I lead........It's just funny to me, but I feel like I deserve it all. I'm gonna work for it all too. Another funy thing about this week. I'm a sports nut, but I don't pay it too much attention when I travel. My biz partner, (SM co-founder) had to tell me about our Dallas Cowboys cutting TO. An unlikely source for my sports, but hey so goes life...
Life is more than sports, and sometimes I feel people get caught up in the theater of sports and sell themselves shorts. Not us, we gonna own a couple of sports franchises. Dallas Cowboys, we coming....
The theater of SM, got stuck on that, I promise we let you down...True life meets Corporate America